in the end
it's just about finding a place to stay
a corner to breathe freely
a surface to create
It's so easy to get confused by the outside world
the pressure
the desire
the ambition
In the end
finding that snowy peace is the place to go back
being able to create freely is the way of living.
stuck.
can't move to the left nor right.
can't fly nor run.
endless waves hit, cold wind grabs the limbs.
endless waves rage and scorn all the sandy castles.
stuck.
even flying with a imaginary wings can't lead you through the glass door.
rest. mind.
haunting thoughts are melted by drugs and penetrate as flow never away.
rest. escape.
energy drained.
In the end, i still need to come back.
the feeling of being insecure, doubtful, hollow, stressed says everything.
It's not i don't know what i wanna do.
It is that i don't dare to face the fact i'm afraid.
i have to admit. i miss the time when i really feel comfortable, confident, and free there.
the confidence wasn't about being so strong.
it was the feeling that i kept moving by stepping out the comfort zone again and again and naturally felt confident of yourself and free mentally.
i miss it and i need it so much.
there, i have nothing to lose.
here, i have everything to lose.
there, i don't care about anything or anyone else but me.
here, my heart is locked down to the loved ones and constantly worried and fear.
at the same time, i am constrained to feel myself, talk to myself, care of myself and do something for myself.
it's a world that being better or not doesn't matter at all.
you either regret the past or worry the future.
it's a bit terrifying when you can't remember the anchor.
i can't really take them all.
sometimes they all look the same.
you start to imagine losing all of them, and then just realise how black it could be.
now i know why i felt it back in the days.
that is free.
- git clone: https://github.com/AppliedDataSciencePartners/DeepReinforcementLearning
- install everything: https://medium.com/@margaretmz/anaconda-jupyter-notebook-tensorflow-and-keras-b91f381405f8
- brew install graphviz (https://github.com/XifengGuo/CapsNet-Keras/issues/7)
then,
I just realised everyone has their own story.
it's heavy.
it's twisted.
it's powerful.
we can only survive in our own way. don't judge.
but, do not create even more tragedies and dark plays.
i feel torn apart amidst anger, sorrow and compassion.
i stopped and stepped down along the words, one by one.
it was getting darker and softer.
i knew i was going back, back to that black deep and familiar space.
the only thing different was that i was watching it and let it happen cautiously.
there, i could go very wrong.
i recalled and felt the tears for you.
i recalled and felt the anger and hatred for those unfair punishments.
i recalled and felt the endless hopelessness behind that empty smile in my mirror.
i kept recalling all the twisted minds and hearts that just couldn't cope with the outside world, and people.
why? i was searching for the way out and i guess this was it.
and now, this's got to come to a break and end.
slowly i walked away with contradictory feelings and i said, thank you for always being there and patiently waited.
python
data mining project
tensorflow
spark
swimming
english
nonlinear dynamics
5 certificates of deep learning
go
It's been a long time since i last went to england, and it's going to be a long until i next go to england.
It feels like a long time since i last went to england, and it feels like it will be a long time until i next go to england.
package.json
devDependencies:{
"gulp-babel": "^6.1.2",
"babel-plugin-transform-react-jsx": "^6.8.0",
"babel-polyfill": "^6.13.0",
"babel-preset-es2015": "^6.14.0"
}
gulp
var babel = require('gulp-babel')
gulp.task('babeljsx', function () {
return gulp.src( __('{{ app }}{{ jsFolder }}/_babelTest/*.js'))
.pipe(babel())
.pipe(gulp.dest( __('{{ app }}{{ jsFolder }}/_babelTest/output')));
});
requirejs
path: {
// react
react: '../components/react/react',
reactDOM: '../components/react/react-dom',
es6: '../components/requirejs-babel/es6',
babel: '../components/requirejs-babel/babel-5.8.34.min',
}
backbone route + react
ReactDom.render(
今天參加了告別式
告別了一個對家裡有不少幫助的長輩
如今
他又再用他的生命給身邊的我們上了一課
一切是緣分
我也感念他是我的親人之一
慢慢的
世代交替
慢慢的
我們都會歸根
從告別式的場面可以知道
有不少人受過幫助 前來悼念
開始我也在想
也許這就是表現生命一種方式
在有生之年活好
有餘力的情況下正面的影響別人 幫助別人
在這種場合裡
生命突然就別具意義了
”對自己好的“：
not like when we were young, we studied because it is good for us ( school-wise)
now, good for us has broader meaning.
it can be good for our career.
it can be good for our health.
it can be good for our mind (such as being happier, feeling life is fun)
it can be good for making more money, etc.
after preparing my script for a speech in my english class, i started to miss the life i had when i was in England. interestingly, the time that i recalled most often is that time i was still finding the job in London.
