First, I wanna thank my dear friend's support and suggestion which colorize the painting life. Second, I couldn't wait to repost the work which had been altered, also better, by ingenious hands of zaffer, the friend I've just mentioned.
Although the midterm is getting closer, I am still perplexed. The question is either "what I want" or "what's the problem". I am afraid. All the things that can change and be different from my knowing make me cowardly. Do I over react? I am so perplexity!
The picture I imitated is the cover of an album of the Gothic metal band, Lacrimosa. As to my feelings to the "Gothic" style, I will have another post to discuss it.
Now, let me soak myself in the work just done.
The style I like is always hard to represent. I think that I am so bad to behave well in detail that the gauze skirt like a wrinkled piece and the veins of the door indistinctly. However, I'm trying to practice to convey the impression, or feelings, that I wanna indicate. It's much more difficult than presenting with words, the way I am used to.
Sometimes painting makes me sink into the think cap. I can be bewildered nearly everything, such as a job in future, the basis of my life. It's kind of stupid for creating trobles for myself, but I just can't help myself.
Last night a point flashed through my mind; did I spend a lot admiring others but few appreciating myself? How silly I am! I ought to be flattered by being me. It's the earnestness rather than a fraud to cheat myself into bliss. Nevertheless, practice is necessary or the creed is just a phrase merely.
To avoid guys thinking I'm so lazy to update my own blog, I uploaded an early work. Even though I did think it's kind of casual and, surely, not a big deal, I found its beauty of simpleness recently. At least I somewhat like it, now.
Took a wander around the campus
seeing guys without names trot along
Find unclearly
I am the best candidate with most aimless eyes
uninterruptedly searching
Searched peace inside
When warn scenes flowed away
when heavy and swift treads were turned into silent
i knew it did , everything had been gone
even my melancholy
The longer route I took
the more sentences sprang up
exactly speaking
they covered all my thought
edging out the gloominess occupied originally
I clearly know
mourning for their dispersing hasn't been worth
However I'm convinced that
we will encounrter with each other
once again
That seems like a site of battle, a battle against myself.
I am totally lost. There's a huge panic within. I did burst into bitter tears. Why? That's really a torture of night. Again, I hate to need to sleep. Each time I went to bed, what flashed in my mind is the fear of sleep. Maybe several hours pass by, I can't fall to sleep throughout, or sleep just very superficially. Who never experienced will not ever realize. Of course, they needn't comprehend that after all. Guys who suffer insomnia ought to expect none but self.
Now, I am undergoing the insomnious period.
Frankylt it is quite tough much beyond your expectation.
Finally, I've done.
After finishing the first problem of my quantum mechanics homework, I almost couldn't wait to paint. Originally I tried to take a portrait, again, however I hardly got any confidence or encouragement form that. Therefore I chose a photograph of a beach to imitating instead.
It's fortunate that I haven't give it up halfway. Maybe we should all carry out an undertaking from start to finish. Processes might seem no expectances, however, the outcomes could turn out to be satifying unanticipatedly, as long as we have kept exserting. At least, my work this time follows what I have just said above. Oh, I really wish to pass the lecture of quantum mechanics in the end, too. 
Again, this is another portrait. Maybe it is the first try of portrait. Although the time I post it is later than others, this picture was done several months ago. I imitated a cover of the book titled "100 colpi". I think it's really hard for me to draw it without blueprints. I'm bad to color, especially to decide where bright and dark and how bright it should be. The contours of the girl within are also an uneasy work. Voila! You can see how awful it is! Hope one day I have a revision of it!
