suddenly i am 25.
Everyone has its proud. what should be mine? i am kind of freaky, but that is just me.
should people really be proud of something of their selves?
but the more important question is
what are those things that i would regret for if i never do it?
買了生平第一棵聖誕樹
第一次親眼目睹超棒大直豪宅
踏進從來沒料到會進去的坐月子中心
第一次看到只有兩個月大的人類
(那種感覺很神妙，與其說可愛，不如說有一種淺淺卻扎實的震撼)
一個是生命的後段
一個正是生命的開端
有時候離生和死就是這麼的貼近
這輩子
經過很多形形色色的事
就像堆疊的積木一般
恣意
隨性
發展
養大
自己可以回顧
那就像是平面下的潮，暖暖而抑鬱
就像是巨聲作響的澎湃浪花，奔放而足量
就像是連綿白花花的金亮波浪，堅毅而變形
逐漸
天色也接近了藍的灰
扭捏的藍色大方的披掛在天的幕上
打滾
sometimes i admire that kind of power.
this is my second time to go to a concert. But this time it was hold in Taipei.
the atmosphere of the concert is quite different form the one of Baby Jane.
no matter what kind of concerts, i think those are indeed the essential products of artists. they can create, design, perform and originate as what they want and who they are.
i think i am a little fond of enjoying concerts.
心中總是有隻小蟲
悄悄的竄動
它翻鬆了每一寸田地
卻疲憊不已
hard days are set to coming. i am challenging myself.
my weakness, my will, my human nature, and my own thought are so essential to be hold.
年紀輕輕
我卻老了
那些綁手綁腳的
請速速消失吧~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
看到破姐和大哥的照片
發現~好久沒有看到這麼藍的大海了!!!!
又想起那些在沙灘上踩阿踏的日子
其實
還像是個不成熟的孩子
任性、自我
其實
卻已經老化的不堪用
很久沒有這種美式擁抱了
小李還是一樣
可能上了年紀的人
總是會比我們這種年輕小夥子來的穩定
最意外的是見面的招呼
還在猜想
大概會是老樣子的握手
豈料
小李整個敞開雙臂
哈
超久沒有遇到這樣的見面擁抱啦
真讓我又驚又喜
最意外的事
本來還在想要不要輕輕抱
(上過擁抱的課有時候還是有用的~哈哈哈~)
不過小李倒是超誠意的就是真的見面抱啦!!!!!!!
這樣輕輕抱實在太失禮了
這讓我回想到
小李也是第一個讓還是小鬼的我像個大人一樣的被介紹、握手
雖然這些東西久了
就習慣了
但是我想我會依舊記得
is this my world?
you tell me.
the strong temper has been built up by many blocks,
the independence, the belief, the experience, the wildness, the wounds, the contradiction and the feebleness.
Never cross that line.
once i made a wish to the curved silver, and i was planning to throw it over.
the whole things that i care is what she had dreamt about.
sometimes we are too blind to tell front from rear,
especially when the only hint we've got is just the middle part.
her egg of guardian angel will be shining then.
the time she know it will be just the time to face it.
How's the smile working on her?
just like a slap on the wrist.
a gal with strong temper is seeking for the future.
She seems to lack for kind of love.
i can say that
she's hurt.
遇見星星的日子
是多麼美好
我遇見星星一段日子
慢慢的
我學會
坐在星光下和石子聊天
坐在那個黑色長板凳上面著藍黑色的大海嘆息
踏著闌珊且左搖右晃的步伐回到總是不同的家
我遇見星星一段日子
曾以為那是承受忽遠乎近的折磨
但是
當陪伴與痛苦勝過了這一切
遇見星星的日子
變得更加美好
everyone has its own way home. i am confused and totally lost the sight.
Here are some queries.
what is the lead in the play?
how has the plan been designed for?
不是跟你很熟的人覺得你是 ......
一個常常把自己藏起來的人。很有神秘感。不容易接近。
跟你很熟的人覺得你是 ......
心思很細膩的人。很多時候傷心不會表現出來，不過其實大家都看得出來。
你想要別人覺得你是 ......
很清楚自己想什麼要什麼的人。
你最希望你的情人是......
不會很容易發脾氣。要懂得容忍你。外剛內柔。有自己的性格。
其實真實的你是 ......
直接的人。很多時候因為這樣的性格跟別人不合。希望有多一點人可以了解你, 特別是你喜歡的人。
It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you gotta be
Everything's changing
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through
And when I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting with
Your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
From myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself
My love is tainted by your touch
Well some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow maybe shaky
But you never turn away
Don't ask me why I'm crying
'Cause when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smiling
You always save me from myself
From myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself
I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong
And don't ask me why I love you
It's obvious you tenderness
Is what I need to make me
A better woman to myself
To myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself
I had been addicting to social networking sites for about 2 or 3 years.
It was taking almost all my leisure time to chat online.
I didn't regret being an addict because i'd indeed learnt the hollowness of wasting time which makes me away from being an addict again in the future.
By the way, my fast typing has been ascribed to it.
I don't agree with the strategy of selling the private information of users to advertisers.
the trend of business of those social networking sites is bound to be far away from the origin, providing a virtual space for users to have their own social activities.
Although the hyper-targeting advertisement seems a custom-made service, it is not good to users if it cannot improve the quality of service of the social networking sites.
You may say that i am too innacent to aware of the so-called business.
However, in my opinion, only the products which can satisfy customers will go a long way.
in the first week i'd been getting along with everything about my first job. in the second week i've learnt myself arranging the working time. i'm planning to reduce my routine and to concentrate upon the drought. although the situation is set to change on next Monday and i am bound to get with it, i am about to carry out without doubt.
maybe you want a slight kiss on your pinky cheeks, or a deep cheer beside. it doesn't matter what you really want if you stay still.
Query, what has your life been expected?
Sun rises everyday, so does the life.
Dreams will have been breaking, but will you have been defeated then?
i love her not for her look, her voice or her success.
I exactly know the reason forever.
Artist: Christina Aguilera & Alicia Keys
Play something for me Alicia...
I just got something on my mind
Speak on it girl
It's impossible
It's impossible to love you
If you don't let me know what you're feeling
It's impossible for me to give you what you need
If you're always hidin' from me
I don't know what hurt you
I just, I wanna make it right
Cos boy I'm sick and tired of trying to read your mind
It's impossible (impossible)
Oh baby it's impossible for me to love you
It's the way it is
It's impossible (impossible)
Oh baby it's impossible
If you makin' it this way
Impossible to make it easy
If you always tryin' to make it so damn hard
How can I, how can I give you all my love, baby
If you're always, always puttin' up your guard
This is not a circus
Don't you play me for a clown
How long can emotions keep on goin' up and down
It's impossible (impossible)
Oh baby it's impossible for me to love you
It's the way it is
It's impossible (impossible)
Oh baby it's impossible
If you keep treating me this way
Over, over (over and over)
Impossible baby (impossible, impossible)
If you makin' it this way, this way
Oh baby, it's impossible
If you makin' it this way
something needs to be changed.
it's about destruction, reconstruction, and balance.
Nothing involved is necessary.
points of view, value systems or favour will be gone.
r u really sure about that?
it's the first time i've been with the new sweet couple in their wonderful car. i felt surprisingly peaceful. i had no idea about my feeling. it's weird for me. she is pregnant and going to give birth to a babe in December. the most amazing thing is there is a woman having a baby with a beautiful mind and face. i could feel the pleasant atmosphere within the car. i dipped into laughs and happiness.
i can't see anything. i just can't.
the feeling flushes me again and again. i don't want to miss it.
have you ever seen her like that? she crashed, didn't she?
i miss physics.
i'd never encountered this situation before. i've been so far away from science. it makes me sort of uncomfortable. although i don't like having exams, i am kind of fascinated by researching in those cross-disciplinary field. I am glad to be a member with everybody in CBL (Computational Biology and Bioinformatics Laboratory). Learning there broadened my view and confirmed me the interests in a branches of physics. I knew it. And I am leaving it. We'll see.
great! after tuning for several days, i found out the best optimization for myself. Ubuntu 7.10 is sort of friendly user interface and it has good looking as SUSE.
the another thing is defining. but it's not done yet. it's never easy.
如同往常
起床開了電腦
先來到沙發清醒一下
順便瀏覽報紙
這幾天實在沒有什麼大標題是吸引我注意的
至少我沒有什麼印象了現在
不過
今早在翻到第二版的時候我就已經開始讀起一篇社論的內文了
「請站在人權與人道立場看待新移民問題 --- 中時社論 2007.10.23 」
我覺得開頭寫得很好
整篇是談論新移民問題
但是我最喜歡的是他對於概念上的說法
畢竟我不瞭解移民的技術法規自然也不瞭解產生的問題
那對我來說似乎是個遙遠的話題
我感興趣的查了這位匈牙利第二代移民薩科奇在競選法國總統時的演講「誰是法國人」：『
今天，讓我們談談誰是法國人
我們成為法國人，不光因為我們生在法國，更因為我們選擇留在法國，與法國站在一起。
我父親是匈牙利移民、外祖父是希臘移民，但今天可以站在這與各位以兄弟相稱，我感到很驕傲也很榮幸。
因為諸位跟我父兄一樣，離開了自己生長的地方，遠離了珍貴的童年、記憶、初戀，遠道而來追尋更美好的未來。
因為「成為」法國人追尋的不僅是身份，更是情感上義無反顧的抉擇，需要自我克服、參與、愛護法國不變的心意。
我們「選擇」成為法國人，因為我們愛法國人、敬愛法國。法國是我們共同居住的大家庭，在這塊土地上，我們有共同記憶、理念、個性，喜歡彼此的優點、包容彼此的缺點。我們需要尊重彼此的習性、共享對方的歷史，開創我們共同的記憶。
這不是要求我們忘記各自的過去、抹滅我們對故鄉的記憶。成為法國人，不需建立在每個人都拋棄自己的過去，更不是建立在抹滅個人良知上。而是建立在個人以國家認同為基礎的自我認同上。成為法國人，是希望多元的參與能一加一大於一，而非小於一。
對法國這個大家庭來說，我們希望每個人的加入，都能讓她變得更豐盛。今天法國的面貌，跟五十年、一百年、二百年前，都有了很大的不同。
法國也從未刻意要隱藏自己歷史的進程，因為我們從來就不是由單一家族、民族或種族組成，而是由志願選擇共同生活的一群人組成。法國是一種理念，是一群有不同歷史背景、記憶、經驗、生活、夢想的人，共同經營的理想國度。
我希望跟諸位共有的法國，不是被囚禁在過去歷史、傳統中的法國，而是不斷更新、與時俱進、每個人都能發揮貢獻的法國。
今天的法國，有各種不同的顏色、宗教，是多元歷史、文化、記憶的結合。今天的法國，是由各種不同元素組成的多元混合體。
今天，法國開始質疑自己、質疑我們的價值、我們在世界的角色、夢想、團結。這些懷疑，需要靠我們每個人進一步的思考，因為，未來的法國，是我們共同盼望的共業，需要我們的參與、承諾。
民主共和需要彼此瞭解、尊重彼此的獨立。更要每個人都覺得公平正義：每個人都有努力追求財富的自由，儘管出身低、卻有向上流動的能力。
法國強調人道主義，但有時，這種人道措施卻犧牲了公平正義。未來的法國應更強調公平正義，讓孩子都可受教育、貧病可受照顧、老弱可獨立生活、工作者受到尊敬。更重要的是，國家應承認工作才是擁有財富的正途、財富是工作努力的象徵。這樣，才是個理性、進步的國家。這樣，才是對不同背景、想法的人公平的做法。
讓我們努力為機會平等打拚，讓我們努力為弭平貧富差距打拚。未來的補助除了針對區域、房地產，更應針對個人。以往協助地方振興的做法當然不錯，但未來針對有需要的個人提供補助也是必須。雖然成本較高，但比大規模社會救濟便宜，而且公平。
讓我們為學校教育改革打拚，因為學校教育才是推動社會階層流動、改善貧富差距的基礎，也是父母有能力改善的地方。若未來法國年輕人受限於所學、所思，被圈梏在單一語言、思維中，而無法跟世界上其他人溝通、交換、共同達成夢想，那真是很危險的事。
讓我們為卓越的學校教育打拚。好的學校教育可以釋放下一代法國人的才能、企圖心，也才是推動社會階層流動、走出種族藩籬的正途。教會孩子為平等的工作機會打拚，這才是贏取尊嚴、尊重的正途。
這些都是過去法國為我的家族、我個人做過的事，也希望未來法國可以為你們、你們的下一代做同樣的事。但若你什麼都不想要，你就什麼都不會有。你的未來掌握在你自己手裡。每個人一定都得為法國做些什麼，因為法國是每個人的家。
在這裡，我願意跟諸位承諾：希望未來到法國來移民的小男孩、小女孩們，真的會覺得法國是世上最美好最幸福的國家。
』。
先不談政治，但是我想，這是篇成功的演說。學著點啊！
i like my recent life. Doing thing i wanna do is the most fascinating thing in my world. i have got some bad habit about learning since i was young. I totally dislike learning for tests. i really do even those i am interested in for a long time. However people's inertia blocks ways to any possible. i was in, and maybe i am in still. during the time i looked for my first full-time job i tried to encourage myself to learn voluntarily. i think i did it but not so well. every time i dawdled and felt depressed, one line would flash through my mind --- life's too short. Of course, it didn't work every single time. Maybe, from now on, my mottoes become the following three, interests lead every effort, practice makes perfect, and life's too short. ha!
After one and half month, the most important thought i learned is relying on myself. That's definitely a good idea within for a gal who is looking for her first job. I am, but i can be more independent until the thought disappears.
how does those colours smell like?
her dream was bubbling and bubbling whilst the reality became the vacancy.
it had been painted as pretty as people's fancy dream.
however, what a pity is.
輕輕的
你穿著白紗離開滿佈荊棘的
林蔭
回頭
你還是一如往常的揮揮手
急促又緩慢
催趕著那批白馬上路
山崖的天空
私自的浮泛藍光
風和你的眼神
好遠好不存在
你就這樣等待更美麗的黃昏到來
你就這樣無奈
你代替他
穿上白西裝
這回的味道是你唯一的名牌
快將手上的鬱金香丟掉
萬一髒了他送你的白紗
怎辦
萬一他看了傷心
怎辦
萬一
你厭惡的失足墜崖
這白紗怎辦
群星捧著日落
沙灘清洗著寥暗的海波
你交換了意見
是否
That is totally your power.
you're tough, clever, also brilliant.
Hold it on until you're welcome to die.
It's my world, sweetie. huh!
studying language abroad is really attractive to me, although it may not be easy to break the wall of socializing in a totally different place. since i apparently cannot afford it, i change the appeal to myself. How about learning here and achieving the goal that i desire for? That seems more attainable to conduct. As to the outcome, who knows?
this evening i finally tried to step out my house for jog. That's quite a beautiful day, especially whilst the spacious field and sounds of elders, students, infants, or balls were swaying naturally in the breeze. how could i just stood exclusively and stared at the scene like a booby?
Two-circle jogging tempered my will. Oh~ don't tell me that you believe it. it should happen to jog over three circles. But actually i did believe in that. Lots of things i can, or say i should, do, such as seeing movies, reading fed-news and, the most pressing one, finding my first full-time job.
"where am i?"
the spirit couldn't help wondering about the position.
the place had just been suggested looked so bad.
no waterfall, no trick, no imagination.
the sky is such a drooping gray blue valance.
here is the most unwanted place it had ever seen before.
but, how come?
Woah, ohh
Welcome to the greatest show
Greatest show on earth
You've never seen before
Here the fairytale unfolds
What's behind the smoke and glass?
Painted faces, everybody wears a mask
Are you selling them your soul?
Well you'll be left out in the cold
Is it all blue skies
Fun and games untill you fall
Then you're left without anyone at all
You're riding on a shooting star
With a smile upon your face
But soon the shine fades
And you're left out all alone
Wondering where did they all go?
Oooh
Been jaded, hated,
Who'll be around when the limelight's faded?
Been shut down, pushed out
Made to smile when I wanted to frown
Always taking a bow
Always working the crowd
Always breaking new ground
Always playing the clown
Who'll be sticking it out?
Who'll be staying around
When the lights go down?
Often, I felt there is no way home.
This morning i walked along the avenue from the back door of the college to the physics building, so-called my second place.
The rainy day mixed with the scent of the moist soil and grass and the scoured blacktop smells brisk.
However, I had been starting to get a sudden headache and to ponder.
Sometimes I felt unrelieved even though everything seemed to have an turning point, such as the commencement or whatever.
But, be honest, I am not ready.
Although i did have quite a few expectations and dreams, i just cannot move on.
I now have faintest idea about what i shall base upon and dream of.
Just as my daughter in the Princess Maker, I am used to look before i leap.
That's the significant motivity of my travel.
I hope that i won't hear those discouraged voice about my trip or my preparation.
It doesn't mean that i cannot accept any suggestion.
Just give me a break this time.
Congratulation!!!
i am graduated.
however, there are still lots of things to do.
i am pushing myself to range the following time.
i plan a trip to Europe with Zoe.
i try to find my first job.
i think i just need time to slow down for thinking and speed up for action.
So many sentences begin by "i".
actually, i still have no idea about my life.
it comes so soon that i am not ready for it.
can couples of coffee do me a favor?
let me think for a while.
i've made the decision for going abroad.
the most important thing is about the job.
should i hurry up?
when it settles down, i can range others things list in my head.
okay, be honest, i expect indeed and, maybe, take it too serious.
i am trying to patch the live when i was busy on my thesis.
On July 3rd, i went for one of my dream, being in the concert of Christina Aguilera.
I love her. Therefore, i embraced the chance when her tour cames to Asia, Hong Kong.
That was a really wonderful time and experience.
For being her true-hearted fan, I had made the wish that there were lots of attendees, because Xtina, Baby Jane in this album, must be delighted to see herself attraction.
Indeed, there were many people, including foreigners.
I hadn't seen so many foreigners before that night.
It was a pity that i didn't bring the camera because of the warnings on the ticket. Therefore, i couldn't take any picture in places, such as the entry, my seat, the stand, the stage. The lucky came across me. I got the email address of a boy, who looked like a huge fan too sitting by me, for sharing pictures after the concert.
I laughed, I cried, I made noises, I waved,...
It's just so my first time to see her.
Did she see me? I saw she wave back and smile.
It doesn't matter whom she saw. It's just about myself.
Miss or miss?
I miss the cream-colored linen shirt, which stand for something I didn't complain.
我開始花越來越少的時間在想
用來折騰自己的時間似乎變少了
一開始覺得這好
因為似乎是代表自己學會了如何維持愉快的心情
這陣子
我突然閃過了一個危險的念頭
這代表我開始逃避面對自己的情緒了嗎?
從小就擅於面對面的和自己的各種心情交談
這一年
我稍微改變了自己的觀念
就改變了這麼多
讓我在花個幾天來好好思考一下
下一步該怎麼走
Paul Lee held a Cheese & Wine party for me.
That was my first time for this kind of party.
I love it.
An unhappy beginning ends in an unpleasant ending.
After merriness, here comes nihility.
i am somehow tired of all those things.
let me complain for vent.
i haven't written about the travel for very long time.
first day, we went to the Botanical Garden.
but actually we didn't go into the center of the Botanical Garden. we had heard it occupies a large area.
next day we followed the suggestions from passersby. we went to 雙峰 which is famous for silk.
then we took the bus to 龍井村, a village for chinese tea. after trying the tea, we kept moving on. but be honest, i don't like the scenery at all. i think many scenic spots of nature in taiwan are worthier to visit. because i don't like the scenes, I only photographed things I dislike.
The weather were still broiling. the final place in our plan today is 西湖 (the West Lake). there are several parts, and we couldn't visit of all them. however i can't tell any one of them. by the way i can't appreciate the beauty as well. i think it's too artificial. it's just a huge park with a large lake even though it's maintained well.
that's it.
plus an exclamation mark or a question mark?
i am not used to British English.
i like to watch "sex and the city".
i am getting more cynical and critical as time goes on.
i gotta a little picky.
i am growing up.
maybe i would like to keep going through my life by myself.
What do I regret?
What an interesting question is.
Today's topic for discussion in my English class is quite fun to me.
I was thinking, listening, and sharing.
Actually I have asked the same question many times so far.
I am trying to live upon the principle that make the decision without regret.
I think I've done not bad, although I do have a couple of regrets.
In one word, regrets and mistakes are sort of the power to be grown up.
No matter what we learned from them, they enable us to know ourselves a little more.
這裡
總是想要有個可以讓你好好說話的人
大吐為快的人
原來我們都是一樣的人
我不禁納悶
該如何在那種時刻
安安靜靜的自處
無所事事的自處
********************************************
今天發現了一家還不錯的咖啡館
雖然是為了等電影而進去的
雖然外面是傾盆大雨
在玻璃這邊的我
突然有種柔和存在的感覺
像是
那天腳步慢下來的那天
突然看到自己和世界真實存在的感覺
我會想念今天和那天的
*************************************
似乎開始對電影很吹毛求疵
老是在批東批西的
這樣是好還不好呢
這樣會不會越來越會掃人的興呢
呵呵
長大了
有很多的痛苦和快樂
痛的是面對
樂的是掌握
它們都不斷的催趕著我的成長和老化
它們都引我落淚
長大了
有很多不甘心和哽咽
不甘心的是自己
哽咽的是處境
多麼扎實卻又被天使忽略被惡魔放大
它們都讓我繼續長大
長大了
有很多成熟和熱情
它們是多麼不容易的在這好幾十年的路輾轉存活下來
因為沾滿過塵埃和笑靨
才顯得更晶瑩珍貴
我還在長大
願一路上的荊棘可以成為我開路的利器
At first, i didn't got lots of fun in the English class.
It's just an unfamiliar environment to me, although i'd love to learn english.
Recently, I've found that i would expect the time to come.
It seems a relaxation in a whole tight day.
At least, in this one half hours, i learn what i want to learn.
I am mad.
I hate to be treated without any respects.
I am totally offended by those attitudes and the presuming.
All of us ought to be treated equal.
If the boss appointed me to give the speech, I would do that without a word.
But he didn't.
He let us decide who will be the speaker by ourselves.
Why everyone can express his self and not be settled, but me?
Why don't they ask "the magic lamp" and make decisions without his nod?
Why other's "no" is a "no", but mine?
If there is no volunteer, how about holding a draw?
I will shut up with the results.
Yesterday's movie couldn't satisfy me who really had thought it as a relaxant in the latest life.
I have enjoyed going to see movies since I was a senior in the university.
Before then, I didn't have a taste for seeing movies in the theater.
You may wonder that what happened to me that year.
At first, I went to the movies for association.
Gradually I loved it.
I loved to be on the way to the theater.
Pass through the bridge, pierce into the curtain of night, and break the wind.
It's just like a space-time tunnel which connects the real world and the fairyland.
Strictly speaking, what I fell in love with is not the movie things but the emancipation.
Suddenly, I somewhat miss that fading time.
第一次這麼嚴重的落枕
苦不堪言
(還一度懷疑自己是不是被蚊子咬
得了什麼奇怪的麻痺絕症)
明明起床之後沒有什麼異狀
怎個隨著時間過去
整個左半邊的頸子越來越僵硬疼痛
就像抽筋一樣的肌肉無敵緊繃
動一下便是一陣哭天搶地、顏面扭曲
頂著莫名重的安全帽
前往診所的一路上
除了努力維持不痛的臨界姿勢
心底更是不忘咒罵路面是可恨至極的崎嶇
到了診所，看了醫生
判定是落枕
打算挨一針早點去掉疼痛(醫生是這麼說的)
反正打針對我來說沒有什麼恐懼
但是
真正可怕的是
又經歷一次昏天黑地嘔心瀝血的反應
根據從小挨針的經驗我已經有了承受肌肉注射的痠痛準備
一針下去，除了酸痛(外加依舊存在的脖子痛)
隱約開始有點熟悉的不對勁
微弱的問，"我今天有吃午餐嗎?"。
"有啊！"
眼前白花花的症狀開始出現，
"挖咧！"，心想，"不會吧！又要開始了！"
果然，隨之而來的就是一陣又一陣的噁心。
回想第一次經驗
沒有吃早餐就去看醫生，一樣挨了一針止痛消炎肌肉注射
但是那時的症狀劇烈了好幾倍，
眼前白花到完全看不到，不斷的噁心想吐，
那時候還真以為是對藥劑過敏，自己都嚇壞了。
後來才知道是血糖過低造成的。
只是沒有想到又再經歷了一次。
是因為已經接近晚餐時間的關係嗎？
這真是太痛苦了！
所以
還是要多運動啊>"<
還有，不要隨便聽信他人熱敷的建議，這是一件很恐怖的冒險~~~~~~~~~~~~嗚嗚嗚
P.S.
慶幸沒有聽實驗室某學長的建議貼撒隆巴斯，要不然我現在應該倒在地上爬不起來吧！
I am so cynical.
I am totally picky.
I've been changing.
It's just so hard to be of no hype, no gloss, and no pretense.
How to say that?
It seems a scar that never dies out.
It has followed my footprints and spread to everywhere at anytime.
The feebler my spirit is, the tougher it grows.
I work functionally as a living machine does,
however, I shed tears fierily and alone as any tragedian does.
Why does it hunt me so frantically?
When can I break loose and free myself?
Si perdue dans le ciel
Ne me restait qu'une aile
Tu serais celle-là
Si traînant dans mes ruines
Ne brillait rien qu'un fil
Tu serais celui-là
Si oubliée des dieux
J'échouais vers une île
Tu serais celle-là
Si même l'inutile
Restait le seuil fragile
Je franchirais le pas
Immortelle, immortelle
J'ai le sentiment d'être celle
Qui survivra à tout ce mal
Je meurs de toi
Immortelle, immortelle
J'ai décroché un bout de ciel
Il n'abritait plus l'Eternel
Je meurs de toi
Si les mots sont des traces
Je marquerai ma peau
De ce qu'on ne dit pas
Pour que rien ne t'efface
Je garderai le mal
S'il ne reste que ça
On aura beau me dire
Que rien ne valait rien
Tout ce rien est à moi
A quoi peut me servir
De trouver le destin
S'il ne mène pas à toi ?
Immortelle, immortelle
J'ai le sentiment d'être celle
Qui survivra à tout ce mal
Je meurs de toi
Immortelle, immortelle
J'ai déchiré un bout de ciel
Il n'abritait plus l'Eternel
Je meurs de toi
Je meurs de toi...
Immortelle, immortelle
J'ai le sentiment d'être celle
Qui survivra à tout ce mal
Je meurs de toi
Immortelle, immortelle
J'ai décroché un bout de ciel
Il n'abritait plus l'Eternel
Je meurs de toi
from http://www.lyricsmania.com/
一個人的路上
總是很安靜很安靜的
沒有什麼聲音
聽不到什麼聲音的
多麼一個令人想逃去海邊的日子
好久了
一切都過了好久了
沙都停留似的
想不起海風的樣子
聞不到失魂落魄被鹽水的黏膩腐蝕的味道
我摸不著
好似存在又不存在
我停靠在一個奇怪的港口
佇立在沒有人的崖邊
想模仿般的望向太陽落下的遠端
卻被一片灰濛濛的天空
抓扒得窒息
就讓我聞聞那片開闊的味道吧
One day, a man asked me that where my style has gone.
I can said nothing to him.
I have been just lost for quite a long time.
I am so sorry to hear of the voice come out from my mouth.
I can't tell the difference.
I just know IT'S TRUE.
After the totally "I" words, I leave nothing behind.
Come back to home
Relieve the hiden gloom of my own
I get some confusion on my way, not to home, but to future.
There seems something I lack for.
Work enjoybly for enjoyment.
Is it reachable to me?
一路慢慢的晃回家
不知道是因為太久沒有回到台北
還是又只是一個受溫吞的步伐影響的路程
nerver ending story
引領著我久違的情愁
繼續擅用呆滯的眼神與表情
當我需要的時候
回到家看到家人
媽媽
哥哥
奶奶
還有看不到的家人
爸爸
又是一股想珍惜想疼惜的思潮湧現
當我活在自己的生活圈時
我會忘記
忘記這種觸動心弦的感覺
當我還在處處以自我為中心的時候
我會失去這種心底深刻的情感
是吧
或許就是情感
I couldn't help to wonder
Where the emotion of mine has gone?
Sorry you can't define me.
Sorry I break the mold.
Sorry that I speak my mind.
Sorry don't do what I'm told.
Sorry if I don't fake it.
Sorry I come too real.
I will never hide what I really feel.
Huh, so here it is. No hype, no gloss, no pretense. Just me. Stripped.
Sorry if I ain't perfect.
Sorry I don't give a -what-.
Sorry I ain't a diva.
Sorry just know what I want.
Sorry I'm not a virgin.
Sorry I'm not a slut.
I won't let you break me.
Think what you want.
To all my dreamers out there - I'm with you.
All my underdogs, ha - I feel you.
Lift your head high and stay strong. Keep pushin' on.
I've not written my English diary for a long time. What happened to me so far? I would like to summarize those trifles if I could recall all of them.
Although it's not so easy, I wanna do the study.
Tonight, it rained cats and dogs as zin and I left liboratories. How sweet you are!!~"~
I still need some drinks and prayers.
What is the life I aspire to?
this piece spent me almost a weekend. the first thing i must to declare is the girl in blue was imitated from a picture in ice's blog. I quite like those stunning works. as to the piece I drew, actually it reflects my mood indeed. That's my story, a story of my mind.
I really have no idea what I did in this piece. Maybe I just tried the brush I hadn't used.
總是很容易受影響
伸展的形狀
不斷的變化變化變化變化
我知道它是會停止重複的
直到有一天
山不再那麼樣的俊俏
海不再那麼樣的寬闊
吹落的黃葉不再那麼詩意的遍佈我走行的路
這時間的沙漏消失在無聲的夢境中
一遍又一遍
跳躍的是我的思緒
曾經他們都是美好的存在的
如今卻一一被要求遺忘遺忘遺忘遺忘
還在轉圈
暫時還找不到
還沒有邊際
沒有編曲沒有伸縮鏡頭沒有修片
依然還在不是昏黃的草原
手舞足蹈
又是落淚又是歡笑
瞧
天空又被渲染了千萬種色彩
喔~不
這還只是我面對這片透明的天布時
有的幻想
時間流逝
已流洩的沙漏倒轉
來到現在來到過去來到未來
清靜的咖啡廳
伴隨著店員們沉穩的呼吸
一片彷彿透明的時間海
淹沒隔著落地窗一片的這一邊
隨高隨低
忽遠忽近
微微的人生倩影
平靜的水面遮掩著眾多紛雜的活躍與軌跡
即使不小心翻動了桌椅
依舊
靜靜的在落地窗一片的
這邊
Again!!!
I'm falling the periodic trap of insomnia.
不需要後悔，就是因為經歷過才會這般感受；
如果拿這份因為過去而得的感受去懊悔過去，實在是太浪費了。
一切都會沒事的。
這一句話陪伴我好久啊！
這個世界上沒有偶然，有的只是必然。
雖然這個說法武斷了點，但是我喜歡。
這是決定論(determinism)與隨機(stochastics)的混合吧！
細水長流。
就朝著想去的地方，去吧！
失眠怎麼就會冒出一堆激勵自己的話啊~真是！
那就繼續激勵下去吧~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^+++^
after spending three and half hours, I finally finish the challenge, how to draw a 3-dimensional space. I picked a picture from the internet and tried hard to imitate it; imitating is my typical learning method. I wish that one day I can draw whatever I wanna draw.
健康漸漸的走下坡了
慢慢的感覺到抵抗力變差
沒有運動
沒有正常睡眠
沒有良好的飲食
讓我開示明顯感覺自己越來越虛弱了
健康是一輩子的
在還能讓我好好保養它的時候
我會努力的
不一定要變胖
只要好好的 一切都好好的 就好囉
有時候自己也很孩子氣
明知道別人的心情
卻還是會想去挫別人的嘴硬
其實別人是別人
應該要是無所謂的
當然
好朋友就又不在話下了
一步一步的走著我二十好幾的路途
我謹記著很多話語及提醒
而我最不想忘記的
就是告訴自己去過真正想過的人生
成為自己真正想成為的人
考完試到現在也好一陣子了
我也很盡力的玩了一陣子
直到今天早上醒來
我才算是清醒的面對我的工作之途
很多事情累積著
也急著要我去面對、思考與決定
它們交織著我的喜好、性格、能力、時間、空間、想像......
一時之間
繽紛而紊亂
有人感慨
人長大了就要負起能做決定的責任
小時後的我期盼能自己做主
稍長之後的我嫌作決定麻煩
現在的我享受抉擇與負責的挑戰
很好
這下我可有得享受了
Last two days I was going to my big cousin's wedding. The most amazing scene was the settings on the corridor which leads to the wedding feast hall in the such luxurious hotel. It seemed a union of two different circles, the education and finance. My cousin's family, also my aunt and uncle, are both principals. The whole family devote their selves to education, including my cousin, a chief of certain department in an university. As to the bride, she's a finance and economics experienced journalist. I rather like her because of her kindness and vividness. She is good at sociality.
No matter how the wedding was and what the background of bride and groom is, I sent my best greetings to them.At least they are my relatives now.
That's an image one day I met on the way back from the library.
Now, I've already stolen a little of leisure under the pressure of my final.
考試週總是要有個平靜的好心情
愛上鋪著奶泡的咖啡
讓我開始想要個咖啡機了
當然還要可以打奶泡
這就像一直很想養隻貓
卻太清楚自己的懶惰
所以總成了嘴巴說說的口號
不過如果我真的單身到老
我一定會養隻貓咪在我11坪大的房子裡
走來走去
Why should you leave me behind?
The seasons went by
with my fading life
I am waiting
for the reason you left me here
I am longing
for setting me free
正當大家勤奮的相互祝福的時候
When wishes are everywhere
我總是帶有一些迷惑
I'm always a little bit confused;
只是1月1號，不是嗎？
it's just January 1st, isn't it?
喔~對了！還有個名堂
Oh, sure! People calls it
元旦
New year's day.
再認真想一下
Recall what else...
好像也是爸媽的結婚紀念日
It seems the anniversary of my parents.
總之
Anyway,
藉口來個塗鴉好像無傷大雅
it doesn't matter to have a new year daub.
