20120831

brEAkinG RulES

i am just not that into the rule. I respect rules. There must exist a reason, at least, that people created rules and keep following them. However, the standard procedures sometimes dont suit as time is going. i encourage myself to understand the current rules and standards first and think of "why" behind the scene. it is not too difficult, but to have your own opinion is. to form your own opinion needs to think through several steps -- understanding the reality, reflection, adjustment, challenging and verifying your own adjustment. I like thechinese expression of this procedure -- 思辨. simple and make sense.

20120826

vaGUE

actually, i am still afraid and not confident to go to UK.

I am afraid that i would realize it is not what i want and that turns out to be a regretful decision. Be honest i think i m not ready. Comparing to the past, I become less independent, in physically and mentally.

all the motivation has gone. all the energy has gone. the power of dreaming has become weaker. i feel like full of sawdust in my mind and body. it is really an awkward feeling to me.

she yelled, "dont step back! hang on there". but, how...?

20120825

sTRUggLiNg

everyone is different.

maybe i just cant get in that way.

uncertainty has been spreading everywhere along the road i am walking on.

i have known i changed at some points and i dont like it, but the most important thing is that can i reshape myself to be the one i desire to be?

currently i even dont want to or admit to say that, but everything has revealed the truth and reality again and again. it's nothing to do with fear but self-confidence. you just dont trust yourself. I am not really aware and understand that is a serious problem to a person until very recent. i am struggling in some way.


20120822

WasTE

有時候


這樣發現自己虛度時間

是多麼的厭惡啊

20120813

stARt

今天花了點時間翻了一本雜誌

迅速筆記一下一些讓我有印象的句子

成功的定義在於實現夢想
如過不撐過去,我永遠都要從掃地小妹開始做起
....


糟糕我忘記了!!!!
(oh my god~poor memory Q_Q下次再來補)

20120812

hoLLOw

有點像骨質開始流失一樣


空洞和脆弱

喀擦一聲

多麼無神

20120807

sTONes

feel a bit tired.

i asked, 'why do people like travelling?'

we hear many people go travelling periodically, at least, i am. people always say feel tired a bit and go travelling to feel released, to breathe fresh air, and to relax. cant we feel released, breathe fresh air and relax during the daily life? why do we feel tired?


touCHINg


20120804

StrESSfuL

today's English Class was really challenging. Mark let us have IELTS-like speaking practice which requires not only speaking but also thinking about the topic, such as consumerism (be honest, i dont really know much about it). Although it was quite stressful, I still enjoy today's class very much. I hope i will have this kind of class more. This kind of practice and training forces you to think more and to give your own opinions. (sometimes i feel a bit depressed when i make an impression that i'm a person without my own thought just because i don't know how to express myself properly.)

Besides speaking, we also focused on listening during the class. at first, I hardly catch any idea about Richard Branson's interview. we continuously replayed, listened, and guessed almost every sentence. Of course, we did need Mark to say it again for us and then listened to it in original speed one more time. It was taking long time to do this practice but i liked the feeling when i finally got the idea about it.

I should have practiced in this way by myself more often. I hope i will! :D